I had my surgical follow-up at JHU Thursday.
Nothing new after the fab pathology report, but I now have my official stage--ONE.
I just missed ZERO because my cells were a tiny bit invasive in the breast tissue and not just ductal.
I now need oncology appointments in both Baltimore (for guidance) and Cumberland (for the actual treatments). The likely scenario is radiology (for certain) followed by some type of drug therapy to discourage more cancer.
We've been at the American Optometric Association meeting for 5 days in Washington, DC. I am ready to go home!
.....................................................
My dad's house sells on Tuesday after nearly 15 months......goodbye to an era....but hello to less complexity.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Oh, Happy Day! (Spoiler Alert: ANOTHER Mood Swing)
My surgeon just called...the late night worry monster might get a vacation!
The suspense is over regarding pathology...the cancer is gone. There are no margins to trim because there weren't any actual cancer cells left in the lumpectomy tissue--it was apparently all gone with the biopsy tissue removal, weeks ago! My dear surgeon is the mistress of understatement--she says, "It's a nice report."
So--I still need my surgical follow-up and to meet with the oncology folks in the coming days, but the doctor said planning for radiation only is probably a pretty safe bet.
I am weeping...but it's the happy kind.
Tonight, I have the champagne I thought I'd have after my biopsy came back clean. Cheers!
The suspense is over regarding pathology...the cancer is gone. There are no margins to trim because there weren't any actual cancer cells left in the lumpectomy tissue--it was apparently all gone with the biopsy tissue removal, weeks ago! My dear surgeon is the mistress of understatement--she says, "It's a nice report."
So--I still need my surgical follow-up and to meet with the oncology folks in the coming days, but the doctor said planning for radiation only is probably a pretty safe bet.
I am weeping...but it's the happy kind.
Tonight, I have the champagne I thought I'd have after my biopsy came back clean. Cheers!
Topic Shift! See Lisa's brain on overdrive
For those of you asking about my dad and his own set of head issues...
He had a follow up with his plastic surgeon yesterday, and Dr. Carpenter was pleased with how the area looked. He is now cautiously optimistic George's head will heal without the bigger skin graft surgery being necessary.
I told my dad it looks like a dime-size sand trap. The area "inside" now looks the same color as his outer skin--which is much less intimidating. The goal is to have the layers all knit together and heal over. He will continue to have the special dressings every other day--they are treated with silver (?!) to help stimulate healing (Aquacel, I think is the name). He can now have a large band-aid put over the area instead of gauze and tape. The dressings will continue for 6-12 weeks and his next visit is in 8 weeks. It will not be particularly nice-looking, I'm afraid, but it wasn't great before.
He is looking so much better with the extra weight he's gained at assisted living. May I just say how INCREDIBLE the Golden Living ladies are. Having him in a healthy nurturing environment is wonderful.
He had a follow up with his plastic surgeon yesterday, and Dr. Carpenter was pleased with how the area looked. He is now cautiously optimistic George's head will heal without the bigger skin graft surgery being necessary.
I told my dad it looks like a dime-size sand trap. The area "inside" now looks the same color as his outer skin--which is much less intimidating. The goal is to have the layers all knit together and heal over. He will continue to have the special dressings every other day--they are treated with silver (?!) to help stimulate healing (Aquacel, I think is the name). He can now have a large band-aid put over the area instead of gauze and tape. The dressings will continue for 6-12 weeks and his next visit is in 8 weeks. It will not be particularly nice-looking, I'm afraid, but it wasn't great before.
He is looking so much better with the extra weight he's gained at assisted living. May I just say how INCREDIBLE the Golden Living ladies are. Having him in a healthy nurturing environment is wonderful.
Surgery Fog Lifts....Worry settles back in
Jeff and I have stopped sleeping well...and it's not due to the blind, deaf, diabetic, occasionally incontinent, geriatric dog. The nagging late night worry monster is now peeing in our kitchen.
Jeff is swamped at work (2009 has been a lu-lu). His office manager has largely floated off into the ether and his wife has cancer--and she's the same crazy broad. Ouch! Talk about "no rest for the weary."
Lisa is swamped at home with a brain that won't stop functioning like Google on steroids (the real Google can often aggravate this condition, especially at 3:00 AM). I think the out-of-control cell growth is located in my frontal lobe. My brain is lurching through the "If This, Then That" road race, and my poor husband gets to hear my daily sportscast when he gets home from the office.
The good and bad news is this--on Thursday, we get to hear what the next hurdle will be: another surgery?....radiation in a few weeks?....chemo in a few weeks? The answer will be 1, 2 or 3 of those things. I'll jump, damn it, but it might not be graceful.
...........................................................................
On a happier note, breast cancer survivors are everywhere! I keep finding out about the struggles--AND VICTORIES--of women all around me. Weeks ago I was talking about the people around us fighting so many battles--who knew so darn many had breast cancer?
I love to talk to these Breast Warriors looking so healthy and beautiful. They are Kryptonite for the late night worry monster.
Jeff is swamped at work (2009 has been a lu-lu). His office manager has largely floated off into the ether and his wife has cancer--and she's the same crazy broad. Ouch! Talk about "no rest for the weary."
Lisa is swamped at home with a brain that won't stop functioning like Google on steroids (the real Google can often aggravate this condition, especially at 3:00 AM). I think the out-of-control cell growth is located in my frontal lobe. My brain is lurching through the "If This, Then That" road race, and my poor husband gets to hear my daily sportscast when he gets home from the office.
The good and bad news is this--on Thursday, we get to hear what the next hurdle will be: another surgery?....radiation in a few weeks?....chemo in a few weeks? The answer will be 1, 2 or 3 of those things. I'll jump, damn it, but it might not be graceful.
...........................................................................
On a happier note, breast cancer survivors are everywhere! I keep finding out about the struggles--AND VICTORIES--of women all around me. Weeks ago I was talking about the people around us fighting so many battles--who knew so darn many had breast cancer?
I love to talk to these Breast Warriors looking so healthy and beautiful. They are Kryptonite for the late night worry monster.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Day 4...and human
Happy Friday, sports fans.
I feel 85% human today. For some reason, the pain and yuk just "changed" this morning--my right breast feels like something I may just be willing to keep. The cough persists occasionally, but my throat feels like it may be healing.
Today's wish list...
1) Lovely wide, clear margins when they finish my pathology and no follow-up "tissue trimming"--keep me the heck out of that OR, if you please. They may have to drag me back kicking and screaming (or whimpering and whining.....).
2) No Chemo, thank you very much.
To end with the analogy I started with, I feel like I can be a good sport today.
I feel 85% human today. For some reason, the pain and yuk just "changed" this morning--my right breast feels like something I may just be willing to keep. The cough persists occasionally, but my throat feels like it may be healing.
Today's wish list...
1) Lovely wide, clear margins when they finish my pathology and no follow-up "tissue trimming"--keep me the heck out of that OR, if you please. They may have to drag me back kicking and screaming (or whimpering and whining.....).
2) No Chemo, thank you very much.
To end with the analogy I started with, I feel like I can be a good sport today.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Home...and reality
Good morning. We arrived back home yesterday afternoon and I kind of miss my hotel cocoon! Somebody else was doing the cleaning there. Don't worry--I'll make somebody else do it here, too.
My throat is still very raspy and sore. I am not in that much pain, although I am incredibly stiff and sore this morning. Too many weird contortions on surgery day, I guess. The dressings come off later today and I get to shower--I'm sure everyone around me will appreciate that development. I'm not really looking forward to seeing the surgical handiwork. My 48 year old form was less than glorious, but I have a feeling Monday's efforts will not add anything to the pretty picture. Oh well--cancer free will look good to me in any shape.
Continuing on the "Let's Make This About Me" front, I've had two dinner deliveries, a spa gift package with nice-smelling things (which I need!), and a much-appreciated "house call" from my dear doctor Huma and her family, complete with pink roses. We've had so many calls and e-mails expressing support and good wishes. You guys are so great--I hope I will live many long years to return the many favors!
Thanks again so much!
My throat is still very raspy and sore. I am not in that much pain, although I am incredibly stiff and sore this morning. Too many weird contortions on surgery day, I guess. The dressings come off later today and I get to shower--I'm sure everyone around me will appreciate that development. I'm not really looking forward to seeing the surgical handiwork. My 48 year old form was less than glorious, but I have a feeling Monday's efforts will not add anything to the pretty picture. Oh well--cancer free will look good to me in any shape.
Continuing on the "Let's Make This About Me" front, I've had two dinner deliveries, a spa gift package with nice-smelling things (which I need!), and a much-appreciated "house call" from my dear doctor Huma and her family, complete with pink roses. We've had so many calls and e-mails expressing support and good wishes. You guys are so great--I hope I will live many long years to return the many favors!
Thanks again so much!
Monday, June 15, 2009
May you live in interesting times ?!
Ancient Chinese curse? Perhaps....It's real life for Lisa today!
Today was a long, arduous, "interesting" day. I hope surgery will not be a frequent activity for me because it's just not that much fun.
And may I just say I don't want to hear any belly-aching about routine mammograms, ladies. I had the two-hour mammo from you-know-where this morning as prep for my surgery and I'm still kicking. That five minute squeeze is NOTHING, girls.
I am fully awake and lucid (I think) for the first time since 10:00 AM but I took the Rush Limbaugh drug-of-choice 30 minutes ago, so I'll be loopy again soon--and I have an excuse. Rush's loopy doesn't wear off with the Oxycodone.
Johns Hopkins was impressive. They took really good care of me, and I'm glad I made that choice. I'm in a bit of pain but nothing I can't deal with. I think my sore throat and raspiness from the intubation is as bothersome as the incisions.
Today was a long, arduous, "interesting" day. I hope surgery will not be a frequent activity for me because it's just not that much fun.
And may I just say I don't want to hear any belly-aching about routine mammograms, ladies. I had the two-hour mammo from you-know-where this morning as prep for my surgery and I'm still kicking. That five minute squeeze is NOTHING, girls.
I am fully awake and lucid (I think) for the first time since 10:00 AM but I took the Rush Limbaugh drug-of-choice 30 minutes ago, so I'll be loopy again soon--and I have an excuse. Rush's loopy doesn't wear off with the Oxycodone.
Johns Hopkins was impressive. They took really good care of me, and I'm glad I made that choice. I'm in a bit of pain but nothing I can't deal with. I think my sore throat and raspiness from the intubation is as bothersome as the incisions.
Nodes are clear!
12:45pm just talked to Dr Lange. Nodes are clear - which is major good news!! We won't get to see her for 45 to 60 mins. More later. Jeff
Hurry Up and Wait
It's 11:40am Day Of Surgery. Lisa went to the OR almost 2 hours ago. My hope is she is done but no one has told us yet. We arrived over 6 hours ago and it's all been "hurry up and wait." I can't do much detail from my phone (lacking Jenna's tiny fast fingers) - but promised Lisa I would send an update to her fans! The only real news is that the mammography took a very long time and guided a decision to remove a larger lump than originally planned. I'm not really sure what that all means right now, but we came here to get rid of all the bad stuff - so all we can do is hope and pray for the best. Keep us in your thoughts today and I will try to update later in the day. Jeff
Saturday, June 13, 2009
An Update on Mr. George
My dad is doing fine after his procedure on Monday--he took it very much in stride (probably because he wasn't watching!). I was there today and he's comfortable and relaxed. We'll take him back for a follow-up in a week.
We are so very lucky to have him in assisted living with the enhanced care.
I was out at my parents' house today looking through everything we're packing up--pictures, family history, my wedding dress (!). I brought the mantle clock from my grandparents' house home to live with me--the tick-tock of my childhood!
I am sad to say goodbye to the house where George and Ginnie spent over twenty happy years, but they aren't there......so it's time.
Boy, do I miss my mom right now. Thank goodness, she is still the voice I hear in my head.
We are so very lucky to have him in assisted living with the enhanced care.
I was out at my parents' house today looking through everything we're packing up--pictures, family history, my wedding dress (!). I brought the mantle clock from my grandparents' house home to live with me--the tick-tock of my childhood!
I am sad to say goodbye to the house where George and Ginnie spent over twenty happy years, but they aren't there......so it's time.
Boy, do I miss my mom right now. Thank goodness, she is still the voice I hear in my head.
In Bocca al Lupo
I hope my Italian sister Federica will forgive me, but I want to share a sample of the wonderful wishes I've gotten in the last few days with surgery approaching Monday.
This one really meant the world to me. I was an exchange student with the Avico family in 1977 and they are as dear to me today as they were then.
I am blessed.
Tanti baci e abbracci!
.................................................................
in bocca al lupo from Italians friends
From: federica avico
Sent: Sat 6/13/09 4:38 PM
dear Lisa I've joined your blog but I've to practise ...I 've to learn how to use it. How 's your father? I hope he is better. You can not imagine how difficult is for me to write in english and how much i would like to know this language better.There are so many things and feeling that I would like to share with you. You have to know that we all will be with you on monday with ours hearts .and ..we are sure that everythings will go in the best way.
IN BOCCA AL LUPO!!!
LOVE FROM ALL
federica andrea pietro tommaso maria federico chiara
..............................................................
By the way, the internet tells me "in bocca al lupo" is an Italian euphemism meaning "good luck." The literal translation is "in the mouth of the wolf" which is often said to someone undertaking a task; in response the person often replies "crepi" which means something like "may the wolf die," in a sense securing the luck. It's kind of like "break a leg."
Boy, am I ever in the wolf's mouth this time......CREPI !!
This one really meant the world to me. I was an exchange student with the Avico family in 1977 and they are as dear to me today as they were then.
I am blessed.
Tanti baci e abbracci!
.................................................................
in bocca al lupo from Italians friends
From: federica avico
Sent: Sat 6/13/09 4:38 PM
dear Lisa I've joined your blog but I've to practise ...I 've to learn how to use it. How 's your father? I hope he is better. You can not imagine how difficult is for me to write in english and how much i would like to know this language better.There are so many things and feeling that I would like to share with you. You have to know that we all will be with you on monday with ours hearts .and ..we are sure that everythings will go in the best way.
IN BOCCA AL LUPO!!!
LOVE FROM ALL
federica andrea pietro tommaso maria federico chiara
..............................................................
By the way, the internet tells me "in bocca al lupo" is an Italian euphemism meaning "good luck." The literal translation is "in the mouth of the wolf" which is often said to someone undertaking a task; in response the person often replies "crepi" which means something like "may the wolf die," in a sense securing the luck. It's kind of like "break a leg."
Boy, am I ever in the wolf's mouth this time......CREPI !!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Icky...Icky...Icky
Today was a yuk day...
My dad had his in-office procedure on his head. I'll spare you the less than savory details, but suffice it to say, I bet few of you have seen the innards of your loved ones heads!?!
I am spent....
May I just say...I would like to divorce my right breast and turn back the clock fifteen years to revisit my happy healthy parents just out the road.
I need to sleep and refind my optimism.....
My dad had his in-office procedure on his head. I'll spare you the less than savory details, but suffice it to say, I bet few of you have seen the innards of your loved ones heads!?!
I am spent....
May I just say...I would like to divorce my right breast and turn back the clock fifteen years to revisit my happy healthy parents just out the road.
I need to sleep and refind my optimism.....
Saturday, June 6, 2009
On a more positive note
While I'm playing computer, I want to take a moment to salute my best friends and allies--Jeff, Matt and Jenna.
We get along so well together when we travel (and at home, too). We laugh, we talk, we tease. It's just plain great to be around them 24/7.
Jeff and I marvel at our good fortune in birthing these two funny, smart people. Watching them together is fantastic--their close relationship gives me so much satisfaction.
The prospect of spending another 30 or 40 years with these people is too great to miss.
I will not fail.
We get along so well together when we travel (and at home, too). We laugh, we talk, we tease. It's just plain great to be around them 24/7.
Jeff and I marvel at our good fortune in birthing these two funny, smart people. Watching them together is fantastic--their close relationship gives me so much satisfaction.
The prospect of spending another 30 or 40 years with these people is too great to miss.
I will not fail.
Grey Skies
We came home from the UK Wednesday....the let-down arrived Thursday. After 10 days of sunshine and distraction, we had rain, fog and reality.
My dad needs some type of repair to his head--it's so very hard to know the right thing to do. After all, in his case it IS brain surgery. Or very close by.....
We have his house to empty if the sale is really going to happen....
We have a business to run....with two weeks of backlogged work....
And, oh gee--I still have cancer.
I need to make decisions and arrangements and get ready for THE SHOW.
.............................
Okay--I've whined. My cheery veneer does slip occasionally. I'm finding it's about every third day, actually.
But it's Saturday...the sun is shining...I've had my tea.
So, with due credit to my muses Barack Obama and Diana Krall, it's time to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.
My dad needs some type of repair to his head--it's so very hard to know the right thing to do. After all, in his case it IS brain surgery. Or very close by.....
We have his house to empty if the sale is really going to happen....
We have a business to run....with two weeks of backlogged work....
And, oh gee--I still have cancer.
I need to make decisions and arrangements and get ready for THE SHOW.
.............................
Okay--I've whined. My cheery veneer does slip occasionally. I'm finding it's about every third day, actually.
But it's Saturday...the sun is shining...I've had my tea.
So, with due credit to my muses Barack Obama and Diana Krall, it's time to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.
Monday, June 1, 2009
I'll take the high road....
The Scottish West Highlands are amazing--the area reminds me a lot of northern Italy. We've driven around the most wonderful scenic lakes (lochs) and mountain roads.
The weather has been typical for a Poland trip, but not for the British Isles. We bring bizarre extremes to our travel destinations--in this case, a heat wave in England and Scotland, with cloudless sunny skies and temperatures in the 80's. It's tough to get enthusiastic about buying wool sweaters, for certain. Everybody packed for rain and 50 degree weather, so we're out of short sleeve shirts!
We head to Glasgow tomorrow, with a very early flight Wednesday morning.
...................................
Speaking of the high road, it time to return to reality....
My high road will be preparing for surgery and treatment with a positive attitude. As I've said--and I need to be continuously reminded--I don't have to fly this plane. I just need to be confident and take the ride (a Xanax or two may be in order!).
...................................................................
And speaking of planes.....we are out here in the hinterlands and a (freaking!) fighter jet just flew over our hotel....it sounded like it was about 100 feet over the tree tops. Scotland is weird.....
Cheers, and so long from the UK.
The weather has been typical for a Poland trip, but not for the British Isles. We bring bizarre extremes to our travel destinations--in this case, a heat wave in England and Scotland, with cloudless sunny skies and temperatures in the 80's. It's tough to get enthusiastic about buying wool sweaters, for certain. Everybody packed for rain and 50 degree weather, so we're out of short sleeve shirts!
We head to Glasgow tomorrow, with a very early flight Wednesday morning.
...................................
Speaking of the high road, it time to return to reality....
My high road will be preparing for surgery and treatment with a positive attitude. As I've said--and I need to be continuously reminded--I don't have to fly this plane. I just need to be confident and take the ride (a Xanax or two may be in order!).
...................................................................
And speaking of planes.....we are out here in the hinterlands and a (freaking!) fighter jet just flew over our hotel....it sounded like it was about 100 feet over the tree tops. Scotland is weird.....
Cheers, and so long from the UK.
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